Google Names Policy

GoogleWhen I went to post my latest Webstream post at Google+ today I was greeted by a large notice saying that I am in violation of their Names Policy.

I don’t know if they’re unhappy with ‘JL’ or ‘Beeken’. I don’t really care. It’s my name. It’s the only name I’ve gone by in my five and a half years online. It’s the only name I’ll ever go by. If I changed it now I’d just confuse a whole bunch of people. Including myself.

Apparently, if I don’t change it, they are going to disallow me from using Google+, Google Reader and Picasa Web Albums. At the very least.

Anyone who knows what I think of Picasa might find that hysterically funny. I do. I don’t use Google Reader either. And Google+ … is this something I’m supposed to care about? If I don’t allow myself to be run over by the Bully of the Internet I’m going to be banished to the basement without dinner and not allowed to come upstairs ever again and play with my friends. Oh, woe is me. Another Dark Night of The Soul. Are they kidding!?

Of course, I don’t know how far they plan to take this. I don’t use any other Google services except for sending them sitemaps and letting people subscribe to me through FeedBurner. If they want to cut off their nose to spite their face by de-indexing my pages too, well, that’s the only thing where I have an actual relationship with them. I write content, they index it. I haven’t used their search engine in years but other people do.

The Names Policy says that if I can prove ‘an established identity online with a significant following’, maybe they’ll let me keep my name. The example they use for that is ‘Madonna’. I kind of doubt that 150 visitors a day and about the same number of non-visitor/subscribers constitute the required celebrity. Besides that I couldn’t find the ‘on-screen instructions’ for making an appeal. But that’s so typically Google. ‘Just contact us’ with no contact information given.

I’m not sure how this happened but, apparently, I’m now under ‘review’ again.

Google Names Policy

Whatever. If you see the Google+ button disappear from the sidebar you’ll know how it turned out. My hot bath is calling.

Hey! Whatever happened to the ‘personal’ in ‘personal computers’?

4 thoughts on “Google Names Policy

  1. Geoff Coupe

    The “personal” got obliterated the moment that you connected to the Internet. It’s now owned by faceless corporations with well-known brandnames.

    1. JL Beeken Post author

      Geoff, if it wasn’t for people like you, I’d disconnect immediately. But, no need really. There’s so much life beyond Google if we can just do something radical like open our eyes.

  2. JL Beeken Post author

    That didn’t take long. I’ve now been kicked off Google+.

    Google Names Policy

    Apparently, something else may come into play here called User Content and Conduct Policy. Hmmm.

    Here’s the scary stuff that happens when you get banished. Just in case you’re wondering.

    Google Names Policy

    OK. Good. Done. Now I can go have my breakfast.


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