I haven’t talked to you about my cousin, Sam, for awhile. That’s because Sam and I don’t really talk about computers anymore. She’s stopped torturing me with that. She’s pretty much settled at email and her Hallmark Greeting Cards program.
The other reason is because Sam has the weirdest computer on the face of the earth and I wouldn’t touch it with a 50-foot pole. I don’t even want to hear about it anymore. Another cousin once sent me a lengthy email trying to explain. I hope I kept it because it was priceless.
At some point a tech got hold of her computer and re-wired things to where she needs written instructions about all the buttons and cables because if she doesn’t follow this system to a T, the entire innards could have a heart-attack on the spot. Trust me, it’s not like anything you’ve ever heard of before.
The reason this sort of thing happened, of course, is that Sam is elderly and when she trusted the local experts to give her the best deal, what they did is go in the backroom and build a computer with all the lemon parts they had left over. I assume.
So, that leaves her Hallmark Greeting Cards. Sam and I once had a GoToMeeting building a greeting card together. Really, you can use GoToMeeting for anything. I could never live through this more than once though.
The college Admin was away at a conference for a week and I was missing her because she’s the main person I work with. I don’t know everything she does exactly just that she works 10 hours a day and never stops moving. I’m her personal computer-go-to person and my days are likewise a mystery to her.
When she knows everything I know she won’t need me anymore. I don’t know if I’ll live long enough to see that day. It’s a neurotic, symbiotic relationship that works perfectly. Best job I ever had.
Sam wanted to show me her card program anyway, so we got into Sam’s screen and set about making the Admin a card. Since most of us will probably never assemble Hallmark greeting cards on our computers, I’ll ruin the surprise and tell you what it said. Front page: When you’re gone I find myself talking to the dog. Inside page: Hurry back. I’m tired of discussing squirrels.